I think I died a long time ago.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
