i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
