Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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