she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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