Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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