so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
