i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
