Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
