you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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