yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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