that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
