you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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