first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
