Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
and she was petting her beer can
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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