Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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