Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
