you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I need to sanitize my soul.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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