physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
