Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Will exercising make me less horny?
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