are you still at the devil's house?
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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