I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
hell yes lets make some ravioli
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
