I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
