theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
