I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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