I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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