this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
