I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
