I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
