I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
