I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
