So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
did i walk over a car last night?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
So squirting runs in the family.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Randomize
