He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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