plz talk dirty to me
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
