just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
