New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
