New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
