Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
