I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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