How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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