i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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