after a month anything with tits is on the radar
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
