Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
