She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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