I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
