There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Randomize
