Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
