i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
