You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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