i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
