I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
